This post is about plain ol' love. I don't know why I feel I need to write about it. I'm away on a business trip and desperately missing my husband... so maybe that's why. For all the preaching and teaching and writing that I do for Christ, I am still a wife and a woman and someone who laughs, loves and dreams. I think out of all the things that touch us and of all the things in the Bible, love is the most powerful.

I have been so fortunately blessed to have loved twice in my life. Even more amazing and rare is the fact that I have been loved twice in my life. The second time around is more solid, secure, unselfish. Both were passionate loves. Both were deep loves. Both were undoubtedly "the real thing."

What still amazes me today is the fact that love -- in any shape or form -- can complete you. With me, that love comes from the man I married. For others, it might come from a best friend. Or perhaps from a child (or multiple children). Maybe it comes from a sibling, or a grandmother or an in-law. It doesn't matter how or why love finds its way into your life. All that matters is that it's there.

For some, that love is God. In fact, God makes it possible for us to truly, deeply love more than one person on earth. In return, He loves us all, too. For all that He's given me, and for all that awaits me, I love God back. Deeply. Honestly.

What does God say about love? In the Bible, there are a few versus that are always read at weddings. In one of the most quoted passages about love, Paul is writing a letter to the people of Corinth. Here is what he tells them:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:3-5)

I love that. Are you content with the love in your life? Are you out there seeking love? Do you have it and not know it? Did you give it up for some reason?

Let me go more into detail about what love REALLY is:

--With true love, there is never any competition. Oh, there might be friendly competition. Randy and I might playfully compete to see who can run up a hill faster (he can) or stay up later (I can). But in a relationship of real love, there is never an ounce of true competition. This can be said of spouses, of friends, of relatives. If ever competition occurs, then that means there is a winner and a loser. And when there is a winner and a loser, then there is boasting and jealousy. Pride and envy. All the things that create friction and rifts between two people.

--With true love, there is unselfishness. My hubby is one of the most unselfish men I've ever met. He always gives me the option to choose things, or to have things first, or to take the last of something. It's not because he is a "wuss" -- quite the opposite, in fact. He is so confident and secure in who he is (and who he is to me) that those things just don't matter in the big picture. Yet the other day he said to me, "Hon, you are just so unselfish. I really like that about you." It kind of took me by surprise, because I don't even realize it. I always thought of him as the unselfish one, not me. That's just how we are with each other, both with our time and our actions. It's just so effortless. I give him the bigger piece of cake. He does the dishes for me. I make his lunch every morning. He stops and picks me up a bottle of wine. I massage his back at the end of the day. Etc., etc., etc. -- and all without asking or telling each other. It's a beautiful balance of give and take -- of offer and receive. It's not one person doing more giving or more receiving. Parents can be unselfish towards their children. Sisters can be that way with their brothers. Friends can be that way with their friends. It's a very important piece of the base. No true relationship of love can thrive without it.

--With true love, there is true beauty. I always thought that my ex-mother-in-law was one of the most beautiful women I had ever met. Although she always thought that her wrinkles were too prominent or the bags under her eyes were too puffy. I suppose by others' standards, she looks no better or worse than the average middle-aged woman. But to me she was beautiful, both inside and out. She never tried to cover-up or hide her flaws -- they were just a part of her. She never considered plastic surgery or microderm abrasion or liposuction to look younger... instead she chose to grow old gracefully. And then when she found out she had breast cancer, she fought through it with more courage and optimism than I have ever seen. She was always full of wisdom, grace, affection and appreciation. I absolutely loved her. My first husband was also beautiful. No, it's not a word that one uses to describe men. But some men are beautiful. He was strong... brave... passionate... masculine. And now my second husband is beautiful as well. He is full of laughter, love, tenderness, eagerness, creativity. When you love someone, you don't see their flaws. You don't look at them and think, "Oh, if only this were different" or "I wish they were more ____. " It doesn't work that way. True love is truly unconditional, encompassing all flaws and all imperfections.

--With true love, there is laughter. I honestly, really believe that there cannot ever be true, reciprocal, unconditional love without a bit of laughter thrown in. Personally, I think that the more, the better. Laughter breaks down inhibitions and insecurities. Laughter opens up hearts and heals the soul. With laughter comes fun, and with fun comes memories. I truly love my husband the most when he is laughing really, really hard. It's not pretty -- his eyes get all squinty and he usually slaps the arm of the chair a couple of times and his face gets all red. But in those moments, I absolutely adore that man. Laughter, light and love go hand-in-hand. The ability to have fun with someone on a regular basis is such a wonderful form of bonding. Think back to the people you've met who didn't laugh or joke around. Typically, they're introverted, serious and usually not very well adjusted. I'm not saying that it's impossible to love those kinds of people. I'm just saying that the true, deep, soul-to-soul love is filled with laughter and fun. I love nothing more than laughing with my true friends, because I know that we share a special kinship and bond that allows us to break down our walls and just be "us" with each other.

--With true love, there is forgiveness. If the one you love makes a mistake, there should be no grudges. None at all. Even large arguments and disagreements should be forgiven quickly. Never should you ignore your loved one, or berate them, or belittle them. There should be no sarcasm or harsh words that can't be taken back. We are all human -- no one but Jesus is perfect. We should see the good and the light in those we love, just as we know God only sees the good and light in us. Look past the flaws. My husband isn't perfect. Neither are my friends or family. We have to realize that our ideas of perfection are probably not others' ideas of perfection. Perfection is objective. What matters is not that our loved ones are perfect, but that they are perfect for us. Do I really want to have a bunch of "me" clones running around in my world? No way! Embrace your loved ones, see the wonder of who they are as individuals, and forgive them for the things that they might do wrong. Without forgiveness, there is anger... resentment... irritation... a sense of self-righteousness. There is no love in any of those things.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is from Mark, spoken by Jesus:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30)

And as we love the Lord that way, we should also love each other. If you have no one in your life that you can love in that way, pray to God. Talk to Him... tell Him how much you love Him, and how badly you'd like someone here on earth to love. Everyone should have someone to love, and I'm not talking about money or a car or a dog. ;o) The love we get might not always end up being our ideal -- probably not all of us are going to have a knight-in-shining-armor love or that super-model/princess love. If that were the case and we each had a perfect mate, then the world would be awfully boring and quite sad with all of the siblings, friends, parents, kids and relatives out there without someone to love them.

And if you're one of those who doesn't have anyone at all to love right now, don't give up. Until that someone comes along, there is always God. And that -- by far -- is the greatest love of all.